I think this has a lovely ending. I like the idea quite a lot. What does a snake astronomer look like? Do the buildings look different because they are for snakes?
I hadn't even thought about the whole society being snakes!! i was thinking more about them being different animals, but I really like that idea, it would also be much easier to create my world with everyone being generic snakes :)
OGR 24/01/17Hey Ruth - personally, I can't think of anything more difficult than trying to tell a story about a world of snakes - who famously have no limbs, so their ability to a) participate in astronomy and b) perform magical tricks would be limited to the use of their tails! I think the whole snakes thing is arbitrary because it's not an idea that has grown from your three words, but rather is something 'attached'.My view is that you're not really using the Museum as a proactive story element (your character could be practicing their skills in any location, the 'Museum-ness' adds nothing essential or imperative to your story), and you're likewise under-using the telescope. Your story could be this: character x wants to be a goal-keeper, but characters Y & Z want them to be something else. Character X goes to a *insert place* to practice goal-keeping. One of the signs that you might not be using your story elements proactively enough is that you can replace any one of them and it makes no difference at all - which I'd argue is the case for your story. Nothing is because of anything else, if you see what I mean.I can't help wondering if using the Museum location as key might be the means of unlocking some less generic story ideas. It's hard not to think about the 'Night In The Museum' movies as a reference, but the idea of what goes on in a museum after dark is always a rich vein worth exploring.I was thinking too that 'Magician' is someone who performs vanishing acts - so I wondered if you'd thought about your magician as being the name for a famous thief - as in 'The Magician Strikes Again' - another invaluable artefact vanishes into thin air from world famous museum! A telescope is a means of keeping someone or something under surveillance? Maybe this is a crime caper or has the potential to be something like it.What about the idea of Magician's Museum or Museum of magic?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_magic_museumsWhat about two rival magicians seeking to earn their place in the 'Great Hall Of Magicians' - and they're both desperate to learn of each other's secrets, as in narratives like The Prestige and The Illusionist - maybe their spying on each other to work out what each is about to do? Yes, what if there is a competition to earn your place in the 'Museum Of Magicks' and what we see is the escalation of slapstick silliness, as two magicians compete with each other until things get out of hand - as inspired by animations such as...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB1Pukr0nFQandhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WBMFUQXqXoShort version - I think there's much more to be mined here if you dig into the associations and relationships between your actual elements, as opposed to sort of stringing them together to tell a story that isn't truly using them.